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Matthew Perpetua Pretends to Understand Conservative Politics, References Ron Swanson…

Slate never fails to underwhelm.

Swanson, played by Nick Offerman, is essentially an optimistic fantasy of a conservative politician. He’s stoic and deeply hostile to the very notion of government, but ultimately kind-hearted and genuinely concerned for the well-being of other people. He’s a throwback, in some ways, to the Teddy Roosevelt image of conservatism—hyper-masculine, outdoorsy, self-sufficient. (Swanson probably would not have created any National Parks, however.)

I suppose, if I didn’t know anything about what conservatism is, that I might think Teddy Roosevelt was a conservative, too. I also might say that Gingrich isn’t enough like Teddy Roosevelt, if Gingrich didn’t just admit his man-crush on the Roosevelts.

I’m not going to say that this is one step removed from a semi-ironic Chuck Norris for President poster. He had to type out all those words, so that’s another step.

When You Have Eliminated the Not-Mitts, Whatever Remains, However Mitt, Must Be the Candidate…

Randall Parker, without even bothering to take a look at Rick Santorum, the new favored candidate of RS McCain, throws up his hands to hold his nose for the standard Establishment line:

So really, Romney’s the best bet for the Republicans. He’s got very high analytical skills, understands finance, understands business management, and knows how to be a CEO. His Mormonism is not important. That he governed a liberal state from a moderate position was really the only choice he had as governor of Massachusetts. He’s not a nut case or a dummy like some of the other Republican candidates. He harkens back to an earlier (and better) Republican party when executive competence mattered and ideological zeal was suspect.

This is blunt Frum-ism. This kind of Republican was acceptable in the 1990’s. Hell, he would have been acceptable in the 2000’s. But not now. Times have changed. Promising to put a stronger bridle on Leviathan is no longer sufficient. We want the damn thing killed, or at the least, caged.

Which is why it’s so odd to see Glenn Reynolds quote Parker approvingly, following with:

I can understand why people think he’s a squish. But (1) he was a lot of conservatives’ favorite against McCain; and (2) if you’re really worried, focus on the Congressional elections. Which isn’t a bad idea regardless.

True, but again, 2008 was 2008. We’re in a whole new world now.