Italian Robbers Kindly Reassure They’re Victims “We Are Not Isis”

According to La Stampa, as reported in Yahoo News.

On a lighter note, the La Stampa daily reported that a gang of masked robbers had stormed into a bank shouting: “Relax, we are not Isis. It is only a hold-up.”

This fascinates. Why would the robbers do this? Fear of bodily harm is, one surmises, among the most useful elements of a successful robbery. Yet, fear of being suddenly and pitilessly butchered for no purpose must provoke a different reaction than fear of being relieved of one’s wallet. So this must be a necessary warning to prevent people from just running from the exits, devil-take-the-hindmost.

Or, the robbers in question were of Arabic extraction, and did not care to be stereotyped.

Or, one of them thought it was cheekily funny.

Cal Ripken’s Mother Kidnapped, Found.

Now this is just odd.

ABERDEEN, Md. – Vi Ripken, the mother of Baltimore Orioles legend Cal Ripken, Jr., was kidnapped at gunpoint Tuesday morning, according to the family.

She was found in Aberdeen, evaluated on the scene and refused medical treatment.

She is now home with family.

So either these are the worst kidnappers ever, or the ransom got paid lickety-split. The family statement leads me to the latter view.