Ace of Spades Makes a Better Case for Rick Perry’s Candidacy Than Rick Perry Has Managed to, Thus Far…

Ace remains a right-wing favorite for several reasons: his blog has a bracing, the-devil-with-you attitude which diverts nothing from it’s thoroughgoing geekiness, and his commenters, for sheer entertainment, may be the best in the blogosphere (so Breitbart thinks, anyway). But more than this, is Ace himself as a writer. He has a style equally laid-back and brainy, mixing, as it were, the mediciney hobo-blood of Serious Commentary with a spoonful of sugary Valu-Rite. Ace’s long-form rants are digestible, which makes them persuasive.

So it should suprise no one that, when Ace lays it out and says why he still backs Perry, he makes a strong case. Read the whole thing, of course, but in a nutshell, Perry is the guy who knows how to do what needs doing, because, like Reagan, he’ll only do a few things. He’ll be more conservative than Romney, less erratic than Gingrich, and not a yammering, goon-flecked Bircher or up-jumped three-term Representative with more spirit than sense.

And he reminds us, without saying it, that not a single vote has been cast. So Perry might end up surprising us with an unexpected third-place showing in Iowa and New Hampshire, which would make South Carolina and Florida wide open. Of course, that might not happen. R.S. McCain’s why-the-hell-not rebound date Rick Santorum might suddenly show up. Or both of them might end up with this year’s version of Joe-Mentum.

Personally, I don’t care all that much. I’ve yet to declare a favored candidate, for two seemingly mutually exclusive reasons:

  1. I’m Not Sure I Really Trust Any of Them. I was actually quite enthusiastic about voting for George Bush in 2004. Not only had he responded with what I thought appropriate vigor to 9/11 (were we not entitled to our own blowback?), but he made “the ownership society” the centerpiece of his campaign, which I took to mean giving some of the money siphoned out of my paycheck for the Rich Old Fart Ponzi Scheme Social Security Trust Fund would be returned to me.  Instead, we got the Katrina Bailout and Fannie’s Junk Mortgage Bubble. So it’s hard to take any of these to heart too much.
  2. My Vote is Kind of Cheap. I live in Maryland, which is not only one of the less important Super Tuesday states (assuming the race is still alive on Super Tuesday, which it usually isn’t), but a state that hasn’t given its votes to a GOP candidate in almost thirty years. So even if I get a primary choice, my general vote is likely to be a statistical footnote and nothing more.

As a consequence, I can tell you with lightning clarity what I’m going to do next November: vote for the Republican. Because I’m a Republican, and the reason that I’m a Republican is that Republicans are not Democrats. Because I’ve yet to run across a Democratic politician who I could listen to for more than thirty seconds without giving serious thought to punching myself in the head to make the pain stop. Heinlein had it right: people pick a party to vote against, not to vote for.

Look at the GOP. Really look at them. Is there a reason on God’s earth why anyone would vote for any of these gutless, pandering sellouts, these cowering country-club fools, these brainless mealy-mouthed jawflappers, save to keep a Democrat out of office?

I’ll vote for Mitt Romney. I would have voted for Hermann Cain. I’ll vote for Newt Gingrich or either of the Ricks. I can even conceive of clothespins of sufficient size and internal tension to aid me in voting for Michele Bachmann. Because when I’m in that voting booth, all I’ll be thinking about is which name gives me the best chance of sending Emperor Golden Dancer on a permanent Hawaiian Vacation.

So by all means, listen to Ace. Vote for Rick. Or listen to Stacy McCain and vote for Other Rick. Or turn us all into supporters of Newt. We may not get better, but we might just get worse.


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