He done poked the hive.

Truth, we might sound a wee bit ridiculous when we cry out, “I can’t believe Bay says they’re aliens when they’re obviously derived from radioactive slime!” But Bay is essentially erasing almost 30 years of love for transmogrified adolescent reptile ninjas by claiming each turtle is less of a fearsome, fighting toxic anomaly and more of a forest green E.T. with nunchucks. What would Shredder think!?

Since I stopped caring about the Ninja Turtles some time ago, and since I’ve never even bothered to see any of the transformers movies, It’s hard to avoid making fun of such sentiments. But since I can’t stop ranting about what George Lucas did to movies I first saw when I was barely out of diapers, I’ll manage it.