I’m Not a Particularly Good Catholic

Which is why it took Stacey McCain’s epic blog post on Anne Hathaway’s wardrobe malfunction to remind me that I should follow His Holiness on Twitter. Something to confess this Saturday before Armageddon arrives the following Friday. Mea maxima culpa.

When this story first trickled through the media, it was reported that the Pope would not follow anyone, nor re-tweet. But the first thing you’ll notice is that the Pope follows seven people: Who are these seven?

Himself, in seven other languages.

I mean, a Triune God is one thing. A Septune Pope is enough to frighten even the doughtiest ultramontanist.


Forcing Churches to Have Gay Weddings

I am shocked. Shocked, I say.

This is how shocked I am.

“They would not be able to discriminate against gay and lesbian or transgender individuals,” Dye said. “That type of protection parallels to what you find in race discrimination. If a church provides lodging or rents a facility they could not discriminate based on race. It’s along that kind of thinking.” (sic)

Which is why the analogy between ethnicity and sexuality needs to be dynamited. It’s comparing pineapples to pineapple grenades.

So that’s one prediction in my “Confessions of a Bigot” post that’s well on its way to becoming true. Anyone want to lay odds on what’s next?

Bad Catholic Makes Me Laugh.

And then informs me:

It hurts to even mutter the heresy, but Science didn’t spring forth from Richard Dawkins’ ass. Science as a discipline was developed in the High Middle Ages, in the Universities established by the Very Mean Roman Catholic Church. Robert Grosseteste — the bishop of Lincoln — is the first man credited with formalizing the Scientific Method, under the concept of “composition and resolution” using Christian, Islamic and Aristotelean texts. His ideas were translated into the Scientific Method we know (and hopefully love) today by Roger Bacon, a Franciscan friar who used terms like “observation, hypothesis, experimentation, and independent verification”for the first time.

Sound like anti-intellectual dogma yet? Oh don’t cry about it guys. Keep pretending Galileo wasn’t a devout Catholic, it’ll make the facts go away. Oh, and don’t look at the founders of Modern Science. Especially not St. Albertus Magnus, Petrus Peregrinus, Witelo of Silesia, Johannes de Scartobosco, or William of Ockham.

There is nothing more boring than online debates between atheists and theists. The most vitriolic troll-fest between conservatives and progressives, on any web-site, ever, is more fact-based and rational than religious debates. Religious debates are nothing more than assertion and demonization, augmented by the kind of ignorance of history and theology that characterizes twelve-year-olds and the mentally handicapped. If you want proof of this ass ertion, just scroll down to the comments.

Facts, on the other hand, are always welcome.


Cardinal Dolan: The Church Has Failed to Lead

…on the subject of chastity and sexual morality. By which His Eminence means, it has cowered in a little ball and said “Don’t Hurt Me.”

Humanae vitae “brought such a tsunami of dissent, departure, disapproval of the church, that I think most of us—and I’m using the first-person plural intentionally, including myself—kind of subconsciously said, ‘Whoa. We’d better never talk about that, because it’s just too hot to handle’,” said Dolan.

“We forfeited the chance to be a coherent moral voice when it comes to one of the more burning issues of the day,” he added.

Dolan went to explain that the sex abuse scandal “intensified our laryngitis over speaking about issues of chastity and sexual morality, because we almost thought, ‘I’ll blush if I do. . . . After what some priests and some bishops, albeit a tiny minority, have done, how will I have any credibility in speaking on that?’”

For what I have done, and what I have failed to do….

So it Turns Out That the Lesbian Denied Communion at Her Mother’s Funeral isn’t even Catholic Anymore…

She’s a Buddhist, which is to say, an apostate, which would also deny her communion.


She walked into St. John Neumann Church in Gaithersburg with the intention of causing trouble. When Fr. Guarnizo tried to explain to her that he could not give her communion unless she went to confession, Johnson’s lover checked the priest. The Catholic Church does not teach that homosexuality is a sin, only homosexual acts. Johnson did not introduce her companion as a friend, or even as a girlfriend — she specifically called her a “lover” (the devil is a theologian). She referred to the act itself, probably knowing that it would put Fr. Guarnizo in a difficult position. When he tried to talk to her, his way was blocked.

So it would appear that the “victim” of the story staged an act of political theater, with no purpose other than to embarrass a religion she has freely abandoned. My sympathy has vanished.

E.J. Dionne Demands That I Fisk Him

I mean honestly, what am I to do with this?

WASHINGTON — The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops will make an important decision this week: Do they want to defend the church’s legitimate interest in religious autonomy, or do they want to wage an election-year war against President Obama?

Oh, the scare language! “wage an election-year war!” Horror of horrors!

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